A rush of blood to the head
by Dana Norram
Summary: After passing 12 years thinking about errors and past events, Sirius was still in prison. In the prison of his own ideas of right and wrong, consumed himself with attitudes of who hadn't had time to mature. // GEN // ONESHOT


**Author note:** I would like to dedicate this fic to two people: 1º to my "mom" Jessica Narcissa, one of the Black Sisters, who even unknowingly inspired me to write it, and 2º to Shaka (/shakadirk), who indicated me the lyric of the music when I was already going crazy for don't know which song use. My prize is yours too. And... thanks to Ameria for the translation! XD

**Translator note: **This fanfic was originally written in Portuguese (Brazil).

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**A Rush of Blood to the Head**  
(Song by Coldplay)  
**Fanfic by Dana Norram  
Translation by Ameria A. Black  
**

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He slammed the door, using more strengh than necessary, kicked a chair that was in his way, and sat on the bed, buring his face in his hands.  
He swallowed his rage and shook.  
He wasn't going to cry; he couldn't.  
He wasn't going to permit them the luxury of being the reason for his tears.  
After all, he was a Black too.  
He heard heavy paces making the stairs creak and, a second later, someone knocked heavily on the door.  
_"Come on, boy! We're already late!"  
_With his face still held in his hands, Sirius Black sighed heavily as he heard his father's paces moving away by the corridor.  
He raised his light eyes and stared at the ceiling of his bedroom, wishing with all his strenghs that this time was the last he was going to see it.

* * *

__

He said I'm going to buy this place and burn it down  
I'm going to put it six feet underground

* * *

Lupin was out.  
Tonks was out.  
The whole Order was out.  
Sirius was alone and he was going nuts.  
There was Buckbeak in his mother's bedroom, of course, but he wasn't brave enough to share some of his madness with the hippogriff. It couldn't comprehend him, after all.  
At least not like Sirius'd expect.  
He considered going to the kitchen to cook something; to wash the dishes; to pass the time doing something…  
Anything.  
Anything was better than looking again at those portraits… at that furniture, at that walls that seems alive.  
He blinked, looking on and on to every side of the dark aisle. He wondered where Kreacher could be… Why didn't the elf showed up for him to be able to give it some kicks?  
Every time he could feel his hair lifting up, as if he had heard something… like someone keeping an eye on him. But when he turned around, he was always alone.  
He passed in front of his mother's portrait and had only a minute of hesitation. So he pulled the curtains away and saw a pair of eyes exaclty like his facing him.  
There wasn't any trace of life in that eyes any more to scar him. Only rage.  
The speech started again, Mistress Black's screams shaking the structures of Grimmauld Place 12. But Sirius wasn't affected.  
He folded his arms above his thin chest, as if watching a very boring staging. And when he moved over, it was to speak.  
His voice was calm. Cold. And there was a certain something of threat and cruelty in it that he knew very well who he had inherited from.  
Everything was so ironic.  
"Shut up, you old hag! You are past. I'm the last. And depending on me, this is the end for the Black family and your group of dark wizards."  
The picture in the portrait became mute. Its eyes could have no life anymore…  
But they had fear._

* * *

_

He said I'm going to buy this place and watch it fall  
Stand here beside me baby in the crumbling walls

* * *

The noise of the cutlery. The bubbling of the cauldron on the crackling fire. His cousins' laughs, his parents' and uncles' voices mingling to the handling of plates and the tinkling of cups. His head was aching. He wished he was alone.  
On the other side of the table, Regulus smiled.  
A cruel and cold smile. And Sirius, of course, smiled back the same way, arching his black eyebrows in a disdain gesture. Then he made a grimace.  
"What are you doing, urchin?" asked his aunt harshly.  
The silence that involved the table was so intense that was almost palpable.  
His parents changed a look. Mrs. Black gathered breath. Bellatrix smirked and leaned over the table to watch the spectacle in the box seat. Narcissa hold her breath and widened her eyes to her sister. Andromeda faced her mother indignant while Regulus had a poor child air.  
"IT LOOKS LIKE WE DIDN'T GIVE YOU A GOOD UPBRINGING! EVERYTHING WE HAVE TO STAND IS NOT ENOUGH? NO, YOU DO NEVER THANK US! AND THIS IS FOR BEING WITH THAT GROUP OF MUGGLE LOVERS AND MUDBLOODS! THANKLESS URCHIN! WHY AREN'T YOU LIKE REGULUS? I SHOULD TAKE YOU OFF OF THAT SCHOOL! YOU ONLY MAKE ME ASHAMED, SIRIUS!"  
Sirius felt his inner filling up with a strange heat.  
A heat he knew perfectly well.  
A dangerous heat that made his ears buzzing so loudly that it was close to hurt.  
Behind him, the cauldron exploded  
.

* * *

Oh I'm going to buy this place and start a fire  
Stand here until I fill all your heart's desires

* * *

Tonks looked sad.  
At least Remus and Sirius agreed with that.  
She hadn't changed her hair colour or even her looking any time that week, except for Order work, as said Remus.  
It was very strange seeing her so quiet and reserved. She was even more careful, trying to don't throw anything to the ground. Apparently she didn't want to catch anyone's eye.  
Unfortunately, she chose the wrong way.  
"There's nothing wrong with me…" Tonks groaned through her lips corner, her eyes away.  
Sirius and Remus changed confuse looks.  
Remus blinked to the animagus and sat beside the girl, who moved to the center of the sofa, pulling her legs.  
"Nympha…"  
"It's Tonks."  
Sirius and Remus faced again. They smiled in complicity.  
"You're making us worried. We miss you smiling. Isn't true, Sirius?"  
Sirius agreed with another emphatic nodding. How Remus had that gift to choose words, he'd never know. He sat down on the other side of Tonks, passing a thin arm above her shoulders.  
"Maybe _Andie_ will think you're too old to take care of yourself, Tonks, but as the only relative in a ray of miles, well, we can say I fell in the right, to don't say obligation, of being worried… of wishing to do something about whatever is happening…"  
Talking about her mother didn't seem to help. On the contrary, Tonks hid even more under Sirius' arm and sighed deeply. One of that sighs that make you feel agony just for hearing it.  
Remus took over.  
He landed one hand on Tonks' hands, that were on her lap, making her face him. "You look like that since you spoke to Andromeda… Thinking of her made you remember something? Something bad?"  
Tonks widened her eyes (blue at the moment) to Remus, then turned to Sirius, as though both had read her most intimate thoughts.  
She released Sirius' arm and Remus' hand, but didn't run away as they thought she would. She just turned her body, staring at them.  
"I'm afraid of this house."  
Sirius felt a funny contraction in his chest.  
Rage.  
"I grew up listening to my mum talking about how she hated coming here… How every Christmas were awful… How she'd see you, Sirius, shrinking in the corners to don't be found, that you didn't want them to talk to you more than the necessary… How she felt a relief when she discovered they had blasted her name off of the tapestry, how she was proud when you ran away… And now, practically living here, having to look at these walls, I feel… I'm betraying her someway… She did everything for I didn't have to be here. I feel I shouldn't… _you_ shouldn't be here."  
Remus watched the scene paying attention, in silence.  
By his time, Sirius seemed to be suffering from a personal drama.  
Tonks went on. "And this makes me upset. It's just that," she said, suddenly looking more relieved. She even gave a sheepish smile.  
Sirius and Remus smiled back. Remus' was legitimate, but Sirius'…  
Sirius seemed to have done some kind of secret vote as he stared at the walls of the dark room, as he discreetly closed his hands in fists, nails sinking in flesh.

* * *

__

Because I'm going to buy this place and see it burn  
Do back the things it did to you in return

_

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_

News about decimated families whose survives found the Dark Mark hovering above their houses arrived in tens every week.  
That night hadn't been different. However, in spite of the crisis that ravaged the country, there was a little group celebrating.  
Celebrating the life that was forming, birthing among the battlefield. The life that promised to grow up and fight.  
_Resist.  
_There were smiles, congratulating, good luck votes.  
And in the little crowd, five persons stood out.  
There was curiously interested looks.  
And dangerous.  
There was the sincere look too.  
And honest.  
Two cheerful looks.  
And happy.  
At last there was the proud look.  
And protective.  
The baby's crying had strength to pop their eardrums, he shook his arms wishing to stand up.  
"What's the child's name?" asked the priest.  
"Harry. Harry James Potter," answered the godfather.

* * *

He said I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war  
If you can tell me something worth fighting for

* * *

The news about Regulus' death affected Sirius more than he expected.  
James, Remus and Peter faced themselves at the same time and sighed without know what to say.  
"I think I'm sad."  
Prongs, Moony and Wormtail changed looks and widened their eyes before turning to Sirius.  
"Yes. I know what you're gonna say… How can I be sad about the death of someone who only existed to annoy me…"  
James, Remus and Peter raised eyebrows together, but said nothing.  
"He was my brother. Maybe if I hadn't teased him that much… if I had tried to be his friend… maybe he hadn't… hadn't…"  
Prongs, Moony and Wormtail watched Sirius get up from the chair and pad across the room. He had his back to them, but them three could swear they heard him sniffling slightly.  
"No. He had what he deserved. The Blacks always have what they deserve."  
James, Remus and Peter opened their mouths at the same time and raised their hands, gesturing without understand.  
"Yep, I know you're thinking…"  
Sirius turned to his friends and smiled sorrowfully.  
"One day I'll have what I deserve too."

* * *

__

Oh and I'm going to buy this place, that's what I said

_

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_

"Have you gone mad? Moony is going to kill Snape!"  
Suddenly that idea didn't seem so funny.  
At least _Jamie_ didn't think it was funny.  
Sirius kind of realized what he'd done very fast, but he had no time to say anything. In his defense or of apologize.  
He even was brave enough to follow James, who ran towards the Shrieking Shack, leaving the invisibility cloak behind.  
_Would be it too late?  
_"Remus knows," James said as if that was a sentence. And Sirius was ready to it.  
He was ready for everything.  
Ready to be expelled. To receive a year of detentions. Everything…  
But not for a forgiveness.  
The werewolf's eyes reflected insecurity, but they were calm again. Sirius had betrayed his secret and even so Remus forgave him.  
"How? Why?"  
He needed to know.  
But a shrugging was everything he got as reply.  
"I understand… I'm sure you didn't have bad intentions… You just…"  
_I acted like a complete idiot.  
_"Didn't think."  
And Remus was right.

* * *

Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head

_

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_

"I won't admit any mudblood in this house!"  
He snapped his fingers not conformed.  
"It was Black, Professor."  
_You're going to pay, he swore.  
_"Mr. Black, detention!"  
_Injustice, he thought.  
_"You betrayed James and Lily! How could you?"  
He had hesitated while raising his wand. He had condemned himself.  
"Who more does he have?"  
_Harry has me! He screamed inside and outside. Indignant.  
_"Sirius, _sit down."  
_He swallowed dryly, quiet.  
"I've already said, I don't want you caged in Azkaban again!"  
_Disappointment, he abided. Harry wasn't so like James after all.  
_"Are you afraid of Dumbledore don't taking seriously a man who's hiding away in his mother's house for six months?"  
Blinded by rage he starts to speak, offending from equal to equal.  
"I'm fifteen!"  
You're different, he concluded. So different from James.  
"And I thought he was rather idiot."  
_We all were, he confesses.  
_"If someone is going to talk to Snape, it's me."  
_Impotency, he felt.  
_"That narrow-minded dolt of your godson ran away of the school to go after you!"  
Anxiety, he heart went off.  
"Sirius, you have to stay here."  
_NO! No one is gonna stop me from saving Harry this time!  
_"Well, well… if it isn't my _little cousin_ scum lover…"  
He wasn't thinking, just raising his wand.

* * *

__

Honey,  
All the movements you're starting to make  
See me crumble and fall on my face

_

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_

Only rubble.  
I widen my eyes in front of the destroyed house. The Potters' house.  
James dead. Lily dead.  
And Harry…_"Give Harry to me, Hagrid. I'm his godfather. I'm going to take care of him…"_  
No.  
Of course Dumbledore wouldn't permit. He didn't know about Peter. He thinks I betrayed James and Lily. He thinks I'm a murderer. But Hagrid didn't try to attack me… Hagrid doesn't know… Maybe Hagrid would believe me? Maybe he'd hand me Harry?  
I know he wouldn't.  
I was never reliable.  
Except for Lily, James and Remus.  
_Remus.  
_He will think I'm a traitor too. He'll hate me too.  
I can't allow it.  
I can't allow Harry to grow up thinking I betrayed his parents… I killed my best friend.  
I need to find Peter.  
I shouldn't have trust a rat.  
I let James and Lily die.

_

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_And I know the mistakes that I made_

_

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The crowd of fallen bodies.  
Dead too.  
_My fault.  
_The rat disappears by the sewer and the cries of terror begin, mixed to the noise of muggles' siren. Among all this chaos, Sirius eyes were empty.  
_It's finished.  
_His alibi wasn't more than a finger above the bumpy asphalt now. Peter had exploded half street, mutilated himself and run away. And the cries went on.  
_How could you, Peter? From where did you get all this daring? Be on Voldemort's side gave you so much confidence this way? And you needed to betray your friends for this? Maybe you got what you wanted? But Voldemort isn't a threat any more… Harry defeated him… and you killed his parents… Peter, you were our little friend… I chose you to be the secret keeper. Then you told Voldemort everything… ha… ha… Then Voldemort came and killed Lily and James. Voldemort wanted to kill all the Potters, and because of this he used you… and you did everything he wanted. But now Voldemort is nothing. Ha, ha, he was able to kill Lily and James but in the en he was defeated by Harry, a baby And you, Peter, you ran away… you left the responsibility in my hands and ran away. Like a rat… like a rat… ha, ha, it's a rat! It was me who taught you how to transform yourself… It was to help Remus, do you remember? And Remus… now he thinks I'm a murderer too… And I'm not, I just trusted you… I trusted a rat.  
_Everything was so funny.  
Everything was so terribly funny.  
Sirius started to laugh. To cackle. He threw his wand away. Why would it be useful now?  
Run? For what?  
Sirius didn't want to run…  
He heard the first noise of a ministry employee apparating in front of him. Soon there were ten of them anywhere he looked. They were all so the same… so funny with their identical liveries, theirs wand up…  
And Sirius laughed. He cried of laughing.  
Fight because of what? To defend something that doesn't exist anymore?  
Sirius kept shaking his shoulders and had the eyes already blind by tears when he heard his arresting sentence.

* * *

_See it all disappear without a trace_

_

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_

Wood creaked in the corridor outside. Sirius whispered something in his sleep, rolling in the bed.  
It was cold.  
And he laid in a clod and hard stone floor.  
Tall and dark figures passed in front of the door of his cell, a long and insistent noise annoying his ears.  
He could remember the day his mother had hit him the first time. He wasn't older than five and couldn't defend himself.  
He could remember the disappointed look of a friend who'd been victim of a cruel prank. But not the friend's face. Maybe because that would make him happy and, of course, he couldn't be happy.  
He could remember a house ruining and a baby's cry.  
He could remember bodies. The brown eyes turned back like balls of opaque glass. The expression of fear impregnated in the iris. Fear for his wife. Dead too. Her eyes closed and arms holding the baby, who cried louder and louder. Long red hair covered the child, a last hopeless protection gesture.  
Yes. He could remember.  
He opened his eyes.  
It was dark and still cold. He embraced himself and started to walk across the cell to warm him up. He looked through the tall window, outside.  
To the sea.  
He shivered.  
There were figures in the beach.  
None of them had face.  
One of them was tall and had short dark hair that was agitated by the wind.  
Another one was short and had brown hair, and he was writhing with pain. He heard a moaning and in the place of the figured appeared something that looked like a thin animal, which started to run in circled around the other figures.  
The a red-haired figures was attacked by the creature. The dark-haired figured put himself in the creature's way and was attacked too.  
And at last there was the shorter, who had blond and thin hair. He simply walked away from the scene, letting the other three figures to consume themselves.  
But before he could disappear from his view, this fourth figure turned over. He turned over to Sirius. The others imitated him, stopping what they were doing.  
They three stood up again and the creature was just a brown-haired figure again. Sirius was confuse. He closed his eyes harshly, hoping that was just a nightmare.  
He opened his eyes.  
He was in his bedroom at number 12 of Grimmauld Place.  
He lifted from the bed, thinking that he hadn't came back to a place much better, but even so he sighed in relief.  
Sirius slept again, and didn't notice a portrait in his beside table. A shoot himself had taken many years ago.  
In it James, Lily, Remus and Peter were still, and sea waves burst behind.

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And they call as they beckon you on

_

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_

It was the last straw.  
"IF YOU ARE INTENDING TO GO ON DEFENDING MUGGLES AND MUDBLOODS, YOU CAN THINK YOU ARE OUT OF THE FAMILY!"  
Sirius almost asked: "Why didn't you say before?"  
It was raining and windy the night the Potters woke up with barks at their door. James thought he was hearing too many things, but even so he went downstairs in a hurry, going through the steps two by two, his robe hurriedly dressed almost falling off his thin shoulder.  
He turned the lights on. Something was scratching the wooden door. A deep bark echoing through the night.  
On the roof rain was falling hard. Then another bark.  
Young Potter opened the door, feeling his heart fail when he saw a black and deformed mass spread on the doormat. Its tongue was going out of the mouth full of teeth.  
"Sirius…"  
His parents appeared as soon and, without words, they helped their son bringing the big dog to the living room, where the fire was on. And it was hot. Light and watery eyes opened slowly.  
Sirius stared at three pair of brown eyes, all of them behind round glasses. Frightened. Curious.  
"He's awake!"  
A crack and in the place where the dog had been now there was a boy. A young man.  
"For Merlin's sake!" James' parents muttered, staring at Sirius' dirty clothes and, principally, his naked hands and bare feet.  
Blood was draining in thin threads above raw flesh, but his face showed no signs of pain.  
Only of relief.

* * *

__

They said start as you mean to go on  
Start as you mean to go on

_

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_

"He's not James, Sirius!"_  
I know very well who he is…  
_How had Molly dared saying that? It was obvious Sirius knew who Harry was.  
So like James.  
The same face.  
The same courage.  
But no. Harry wasn't James.  
Harry was just Harry.  
James was dead.  
And Molly was right.  
Sirius didn't have his best friend back.  
He'd never have.  
Sirius' eyes lifted to the door which had just been opened.  
Remus' eyes held an expression he knew very well. A mute and annoying censure. Remus had passed years censuring them with his eyes, without courage to open his mouth.  
However, apparently years had changed his tactic.  
The werewolf sat in the bed in front of Sirius.  
"Molly shouldn't have said that."  
Silence.  
What would he say? There wasn't exactly a defense…  
But I think she's right.  
Sirius felt a spark of rage growing inside him.  
"You think, don't you? Do you think I'm going mad? That I think Harry is James?"  
Remus stared at him for some seconds then shook his head.  
Sirius sighed in relief. Although he'd never admit it was good to know Remus supported him. In any way.

* * *

__

He said I'm going to buy this place and see it go  
Stand here beside my baby watch the orange glow

_

* * *

_

It didn't took long to Mr. and Mrs. Black find out they had a black sheep in the family, but they suffered in silence the news about their older son had been selected to Gryffindor.  
Sirius hadn't even written to tell the news. They'd know from other relatives who had children in Hogwarts.  
"How embarrassing…" she said to Bellatrix', Andromeda's and Narcissa's mother when waiting the express to arrive at platform 9 ¾.  
Sirius saw his mother before she'd seen him and shivered, whispering to his friends he needed to go. They three changed look before mutter an suspicious "ok". Sirius almost never talked about his parents.  
Dragging his feet he reached his family – if he could call them that.  
His mother's look pierced him, running from his impassive face to the lion emblem he held in the lapel of his clothes.  
"How dared you, Sirius?" She said quietly. It was so strange to see Mrs. Black talking this way, Sirius thought. Maybey she didn't want other passers-by to notice her embarrassment.  
He inflated his chest and lifted his eyes to the woman. She looked back.  
A Black facing the other with no fear.  
Sirius knew in his inner he had just declared war.  
A war he wasn't sure he'd win.

* * *

Some'll laugh and some just sit and cry

_

* * *

_

He still tasted blood in his mouth. Cold sweat draining uncontrolled. He was totally conscious of his trembling hands while he raised the red-haired boy's wand. Boy whose leg he had by any chance almost tore off.  
And he was pointing it to James' son.  
"_Expelliarmus!_"  
It was as he was attacking the one he'd always wanted to protect. Sirius breathed deeply, feeling rage of himself. Now he couldn't go back.  
Peter. He needed to catch Peter!  
But as James would do, Harry didn't dare to give himself up.  
"Your dad would have done the same for me…"  
Harry stared to scream. His friends too.  
"If you'll to kill Harry, you'll have to kill us all!"  
It's curious how the story always repeats, how we are the same characters… in the same stage… simply played by different people.

* * *

__

But you just sit down there and you wonder why

* * *

He couldn't believe he was at Hogwarts again.  
Not how you'd like to be, unfortunately.  
It seemed Halloween had never took so long to arrive. He needed the castle empty, everybody busy eating in the Great Hall.  
Peter alone at Gryffindor Tower.  
Yes. Sirius counted with that.  
He led his eyes off of a portrait which occupant was settling his hair and went through one more flight of steps. Without thinking, he jumped a step, smiling when he saw it was that defective one that used to swallow the feet of who tried to step on it.  
Things weren't different, after all.  
He closed his eyes for one minute, thinking he was back to school, and James was at his side, Remus was carrying a pile of books while scolding them, and Peter came…  
He opened his eyes.  
Peter.  
_Traitor!  
_He needed to find him!  
He barely noticed when he reached Fat Lady's portrait. She was staring at him bitterly and suspiciously. For one minute Sirius felt he was the same boy who'd appear at the Tower entrance at 2 a.m. after stealing food from the kitchens.  
"Password?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.  
_No!  
_It wouldn't be because of this that he was going to let Peter escape again!  
Sirius tried to breathe slowly, to settle down…  
"Look… I forgot… But I'll be fast… I need just some minutes…"  
But he'd already known Fat Lady wouldn't allow.  
"I'm sorry, but you need the password to enter!"  
_No!  
_"It's a life or death case… I need to enter!"  
The portrait folded her arms above her big breasts. Her expression was as hard as a stone idol one.  
"Please… I'm begging…"  
And Sirius had already known the answer when he gave the first stroke.

* * *

Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head

_

* * *

_

"I didn't know you still had this mirror."  
Sirius looked to his friend leaned on the door-sill. His eyebrows were raised and his arms were folded.  
Instinctively, he put the hand-mirror away in the drawer.  
"I found it when rummaging in an old wardrobe… James and me…"  
Remus smiled, shaking his head.  
"Used it to communicate when you got separated detention… Yes, I remember."  
Sirius shrugged, putting his hands between his legs and sighed.  
"Yes, sometimes I forget."  
Remus eyes looked offended for one minute, but soon he recovered.  
"Did you give the other one to Harry?"  
Sirius faced him quickly.  
"How do you know?"  
Remus smiled.  
"Typical. You can't stand the idea of don't speak to him."  
"And by any chance this is a crime?" Sirius objected bitterly.  
"Of course no. But what's the matter? You don't look happy… Hasn't Harry tried to contact you?"  
Sirius shook his head and sighed heavily, as a child who'd been out of the game three times.

* * *

So meet me by the bridge, meet me by the lane

_

* * *

_

"Sirius… You don't need to do that…" The first voice heard, Remus' one, sounded liked it used to. Gentle and controlled.  
The other Order members didn't dare opining. They couldn't either. They didn't knew how it was to Sirius to be offering his old house to be a hiding place.  
The animagus sighed and stared at Remus without knowing what to say, which position to take. It was his only way to help, to do something for the Order… against Voldemort… for Harry.  
For himself.  
"I'm sure it's an excellent place to we set a HQ up," said Dumbledore, his face resting on his hands, his little blue eyes sparkling behind the half-moon glasses. "But the final decision is yours."  
Sirius felt all the eyes in him and a doubtful confidence filled him. He was important. He was into a group again… he wasn't the traitor anymore. The fugitive… the murderer.  
He was someone special.  
He'd be a hero.  
He'd fight.  
He'd save Harry.  
And without giving too much thought to the real consequences of that decision, Sirius nodded.  
Dumbledore's face lit up. Remus' darkened.  
And Sirius' inner twisted before the perspective of being again in number 12 of Grimmauld Place.

* * *

When am I going to see that pretty face again

_

* * *

_

Sirius watched Hagrid disappearing in the sky in his motorcycle with Harry in his arms.  
In that instant he didn't think about anything.  
Sirius didn't think that could be the last time he was seeing his godson.  
Sirius didn't think he was going to be arrested and condemned.  
Sirius didn't knew he'd live two years as a fugitive, eating rats, sleeping in the open air, needing to sneak off as Padfoot by dark corners, because now… he was dangerous… he was a murderer…  
His first meeting with the dementors was strange. It was the first lucid moment he had after two days of madness, laughing at everything he'd see or think of.  
They made him remember bad things. Things he wanted to forget and there wasn't any wand around to expel them of his mind.  
Alone in his cell, Sirius knelt down and transformed.  
His mind clouded as it had been taken by a mist. In the centre of it appeared a stag, followed by a rat and a wolf, or better, a werewolf. They stood far away and seemed afraid of approaching.  
In the distance, Sirius could see the little towers of a castle rising above the tall tops of the trees.  
Then the three animals moved away to the light.  
But Sirius couldn't move and stilled there in the dark, shrunk, cold and alone.

* * *

___Meet me on the road, meet me where I said _

_

* * *

_

Laughs.  
Sounds of the battle that grew like a cancer in an accelerated and fatal rhythm.  
His hot heart beating strongly.  
Alive.  
For the first time in 14 years.  
He felt alive.  
Harry was safe. Remus could take care of himself. Dumbledore would arrive soon… everyone would be safe and he'd have had his chance.  
Chance to prove he could fight for the Order too… he could defend Harry… he wasn't useless as Snape used to say.  
Bellatrix' hollowed face eyed him with contained hatred.  
"Why, _little cousin_? You hate me so much because I didn't sell myself like you did?"  
A sharp scream. Spells gushed everywhere. Fatal.  
He wouldn't be hit. The only thing he had to do was to get out off the way. Create a shield. Laugh…  
"Come on, you can do better than that!"  
The place became silent.  
He felt pain spreading itself by every place of his body. The smile in his face lost heart for one minute and in his inner Sirius Black knew that sound… the sound of his own words would be the last sound he would hear.  
That had been his last will.  
It had been his sentence of death.

* * *

Blame it all upon  
A rush of blood to the head

_

* * *

_

**THE END**

* * *

**Harry Potter** and its characters belong exclusively to **JK Rowling** and **Warner Bros**. 

This fanfic belongs to me and I'm going to hex the one who dare copying it or posting it somewhere without my permission. Did you like it? Do you want to put it at you blog, site, forum? E-mail me. There's no reason for me to say no. Plagiarizing is crime.

Copyright © December 2004, all rights reserved.


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